Los Angeles Obsession Leads to Unintended Consequence...

A scene from Tuesday night:

ZT: I want some nachos...
Ann: I want some buffalo wings...
ZT: Hmm, is anything open anymore? The only place I can think of is Hooters...
Ann: I don't want to go to Hooters.
ZT: Me either...I wonder if the they have a Buffalo Wild Wings here.
Ann: Is the internet working?
ZT: Yep...and there's a Buffalo Wild Wings on Clark St. Where is that?
Ann: I think it's what Bee Ridge turns into...
ZT: Hmm, I'll Mapquest it...oh, it's south of Bee Ridge on Beneva.
Ann: Wait, what does Clark St. become though...
ZT: Um...Stickney Point
Ann: Oh YEAH, Stickney Point...dammit, I knew that...
ZT: Wanna go?
Ann: YES!
[driving driving driving]
ZT: I hope they have nachos. Hey look...the Dodgers are playing the Rockies.
Ann: So?
ZT: I dunno, I was just thinking, I wonder if I could become a Dodgers fan...
Ann: Why?
ZT: They seem pretty cool, they have nice uniforms, they have a pretty cool history...I have those Brooklyn Dodgers autographs...Oh, and look, Greg Maddox is pitching for them...
Ann: Wait, wasn't he with the Cubs?
ZT: Yeah, I almost forgot, he got traded to the Dodgers...
Ann: And you didn't tell me?
ZT: Slipped my mind, sorry.
Ann: Well now I kind of like the Dodgers.
ZT: Yeah, me too, not because of Greg Maddux, but you know.
Ann: Yeah...but would you turn your back on the Brewers?
ZT: Oh no...but I could like the Dodgers, in fact I'm kind of thinking of getting a Dodgers hat...
Ann: I think your parents would make fun of you...
ZT: Maybe...Hey! The Dodgers just tied it!
Ann: Oh good...
[munch munch munch...guzzle guzzle guzzle]
Ann: I think they're closing soon, we should go...
ZT: Can we see if the Dodgers end up winning?

Los Angelels, I'm Yours

Halfway on my walk to the library I started listening to some Jane’s Addiction. Since then, approximately 1.5% of my available brainpower dedicates itself to wanting to go to Los Angeles. I don’t recall ever wanting to visit LA before, nor have I, in fact, ever visited said locale. Nonetheless, during quiet moments (mostly while driving or staring at walls) I think about visiting there, what it would be like, what I would do there. Of course, I know little about LA. I’ve seen it on television shows and movies of course, but that gives me about as much of an idea of the place as, well, television and movies. I suppose Beijing gave me an indirect point of reference, as Dr. Yard, the leader of my travel group there, said, “It just looks like Los Angeles now.” To be fair, I doubt LA boast any “toilets” that are merely two boards over a large hole in the ground. Though I would give my Beijing experience only three stars (though I thing the sick day was less China’s fault and more the fault of Mongolia), I would certainly go back. For a better idea of how much I like Beijing, here is a quick rating of major cities I have spent time in:

1) Chicago, IL

2) Toronto, ON

3) Twin Cities, MN

4) Beijing, China

5) New Orleans, LA

6) Ulaan Bataar, Mongolia

7) St. Louis, MO

8) Houston, TX

9) Tampa/St. Petersburg, FL

10) Milwaukee, WI

11) Phoenix, AZ

If Los Angeles is in fact just like Beijing, it’s in line to be very high on that list, perhaps gaining points for the flush toilets, though possibly losing points for not being a thousand year old capital with things like the Great Wall of China and Tiananmen Square.

I know people that have been to LA, my dad and Ann. But my dad usually talks about cities from the point of view of a truck driver, and from a trucker’s point of view, the best a large city can hope for is the ever fantastic description “the traffic’s not as bad as ________.” Although I suspect his views of large cities have changed slightly now that he doesn’t have to navigate an eighteen wheeler through their streets (or maybe not, as he now deals with the poor souls that do have to…) As for Ann, she’s been there a couple of times to visit her friend, but all I’ve gathered from her is that her friend leads a fairly interesting life and that if Matt Leinardt hadn’t gotten a second chance to score against Notre Dame, people would probably have been murdered. I will also say this, when I mentioned to Ann my LA fixation, she seemed excited about the prospect not only of visiting there, but also of moving there. Of course, she also wants to live in Iowa, so that has to be taken with a grain of salt (ba-dum-bum! Easy joke, sorry. Actually, with all seriousness, I like Iowa a lot. Northeastern Iowa to Des Moines is actually some of the prettiest areas I’ve ever seen in the whole US of A.)

So, these five things I know about LA:

1) If you’re famous, or know a famous person, it’s easy to get laid.

2) The traffic is horrendous.

3)Ann’s friend lives there and lives a fairly exciting life.

4) Ann seems to like it there, and apparently, so does her friend.

5) They’re very much into USC football.

So three points in favor of LA (I think the famous should get as much sex as they like, it’s the way nature intended it), and two points against (I’m suspect of people who are a little too into college football. I picture someone who owns a Cadillac dealership in Alabama giving an Escalade to some eighteen year old offensive lineman prospect just because he said “Roll Tide”).

Of course, I could make lists like this for all kinds of cities I’ve never been to. The question for me is why LA? If there’s anything I’m pondering more than what LA is like, it’s why the hell do I want to go there? No one I know gives the place a ringing endorsement. The only song about Los Angeles I can think of off the top of my head is “Los Angeles I’m Yours” by the Decemberists which boasts the line “An ocean’s garbled vomit on the shore”. In fact, upon further reflection, Dr. Yard’s comment about Beijing being just like Los Angeles was really just a knock on Beijing if I remember his vocal intonation correctly. Theirs is nothing I’ve read or seen about LA that seems remotely appealing. But the fact remains, I really want to go there, and I’ve had about two dreams about visiting there in recent nights. All because I listened to Ritual de lo Habitual?

So yes, the whole thing seems rather silly, and it also gives me a bit of a chuckle as well…but then there’s part of me that’s dead serious about this LA thing. According to the book’s introduction, pretty much everyone is familiar with The Alchemist. Now in this book, there’s a boy that has a dream about the pyramids and figures out he has to go there to find his treasure. It’s his “Personal Legend”. When I read it, to be honest, I had really no idea what my personal legend was. But this whole LA thing has hit me over the head like a ton of bricks, and I’m starting to suspect more and more that it has something to do with what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. So I’m going to make a concerted effort to at the very least travel there…And that’s what’s new in ZT’s life.