ZT in WI

Well, my vacation is over and I'm back in Wisconsin. I had lots of fun, but I'm happy to be back in the Upper Midwest once again (and just in time to see the leaves change). And while I apologize for the lack of posting lately I enjoyed the vacation a bit too much to be really sorry. Anyways, for today, there's going to be an NFL Picks (just in time for the games to start). Enjoy...

Wisconsin-Michigan Game Diary

Wisconsin versus Michigan is always an exciting game, and it’s upon us already, and it’s only September. And, lo and behold, it’s on the television in Florida, which is fantastic. My bias is clearly with Wisconsin, so here’s my ridiculously slanted account of the game.

Noon (note, there’s nothing I love more than the 11 o’clock kickoff for college football games, this noon stuff is not going to cut it): Wisconsin defers the kickoff. I don’t understand why this is done in college football. Why wouldn’t you want the ball first?

12:10ish: Interception by Wisconsin. By the way, my three favorite things that happen during a football game, as a fan:

1) Touchdown by my team.

2) Fumble of any team.

3) Interception caught by my team.

12:15ish: Touchdown Wisconsin, set up by a nice screen play before that. I love screen plays. 7-0 Wisco. Wisco baby, Wisco…

12:30: PJ Hill is definitely the better running back so far, and I’m a huge Michael Hart fan. This is really my first glimpse of Hill so far, and I like what I see.

12:31: A Michigan player just got smoked immediately after receiving the punt. I just made one of those evil cackling laugh type of cheers that makes me question who’s really in control of my soul.

12:34: Michigan just completed a big pass for about 40 yards followed by the receiver getting whacked by the defender. I wonder if the defender can even feel good about that? Is there a more bittersweet experience than getting a nice hit after giving up a big play? Perhaps getting walloped after getting a big play…

12:38: Wisconsin just stopped Michigan on forth and one! The Badgers defense has me pretty excited with their first quarter play.

12:41: Michigan almost intercepted the ball for a touchdown but the cornerback dropped it. Announcers always seem to give the defenders a free pass for dropping an easy interception. Why is this? If he makes that play, the game is 7-7. How is missing that any worse than a receiver missing an easy catch?

12:45: Touchdown, Michigan. Another thing I can’t stand is when cornerbacks simply miss the ball. Again, their never taken to task by announcers for this…7-7 game, hopefully Wisco can get its offense moving again. By the way Mario Maningham is an awesome name…

12:50: Wisco’s offense is clunking…

12:55: Hmm…Wisco’s defense did its job yet again, lets see some O…

1:00: Another Badger screen goes for big yards. Michigan is looks like it can’t handle screens and short passes.

1:02: Those chincy fifteen yard penalties that go in my teams favor (like the one that just happened) always make me feel a little guilty…

1:08: Wisco finally put together a nice drive and got a field goal out of it. A couple things about this:

1) Wisconsin is too dependent on PJ Hill. The set of downs that stalled the drive all went to Hill, which Michigan is smelling out easily. They need to get others involved.

2) Taylor Melhoff's name (Wisco’s kicker) is so appropriately kicker-esque, it’s ridiculous. As ridiculous as Snakes on a Plane, no, but close…

10-7 Wisco, at the very least, this got Wisconsin out of field position purgatory.

1:12: Wisconsin was handling this game well, and then they just blew it with a boneheaded special teams play. ZT’s blood pressure: near fatal.

On a side note, that play just destroyed a burgeoning superstition. I had started thinking that the Badgers played better when I sat on the edge of the couch with my elbows resting on my thighs and my hands on my knees. On my Annoyance of Silly Superstitions Scale, this would have ranked far below my “Drink an entire nalgene of water between innings” superstition and the old “Wear the same shirt for all of October” superstition during Red Sox playoff runs.

1:15: Field Goal, Michigan, 10-10 game.

1:32: Halftime…there was a bit of friskiness by Wisco at the end of the half, but they couldn’t move it into field goal range. But they’ll get the ball, so, I guess deferring worked out.

2:00: Or not…that Wisco offense needs the D, which just held again.

2:06: Wisconsin made a nice call running the ball on 3^rd and 4. They didn’t make it, but they almost made it, and Michigan didn’t look like they expected it.

2:11: Interception by Wisconsin! Great play by the cornerback, showing that, hey, maybe they should be expected to catch one or two of those. Wisco needed that turnover.

2:30: That touchdown hurt…17-10 Michigan. I guess I’m going to have to hope the defense can score a touchdown…

2:34: It’s been confirmed, Michigan’s punter is named Zoltan…that’s nothing but fantastic.

2:36: This is starting to get depressing…Stocco’s sacked again…however, against the rest of the Big Ten, the Badgers might look good…you know, against Illinois…Here’s the difference between Michigan and Wisconsin: Michigan’s offense can at least move the ball a little bit, which allowed it to constantly work with a short field. Wisconsin is always having to drive the length of the field and they just can’t do it now that Michigan has shut down PJ Hill.

2:40: You know what’s weird about football (and college football especially)? There’s nothing the Badgers can do for the rest of the season about their lack of receivers. Like, a guy can get better, but it’s not like they can trade or sign someone to at least help out, give them the extra push. This is an incredibly depressing thought. At least in baseball, you can say to yourself, “hey, they could trade for some pitching”. Even in pro football, you can sign some washed up hack like Jeff George to give your team the illusion of hope. And with that note, I’m too depressed to continue…it’s 24-10 Michigan…short of something miraculous, Michigan can go up in the rankings again.

ZT Keillor on the Virtues of Weather...

I risk sounding like Garrison Keillor here, but I’m of the opinion that it is difficult to destroy yourself with hubris whilst living in the Upper Midwest. I will be departing from Sarasota on Tuesday, and while I’ll linger in the Sunshine State for the rest of the week to spend some time in Miami, my time as a resident of Florida will end the 26^th. After a brief pit stop on the Chesapeake Bay for some sight seeing and museum wandering, I’ll be back in Wisconsin by October 6^th.

To say that I’m not excited would be a lie. Don’t get me wrong, I like Sarasota, what with its overpriced everything and octogenarian population. The tennis was good, the dollar theater was better, and I know within a week of getting home I will be craving that crepe thing at C’est La Vie or a decent burrito. But one thing I will not miss is Sarasota hubris. Working at Tijuana Flats, a slightly cut above fast food place, I encountered this hubris quite often (in fact, the real reason I liked it there was probably the fact that I never had to do dishes). I encountered this yesterday in the following exchange:

ZT: Hi there! Can I get your name?

Steve: It says it on my shirt…

ZT: Oh, yeah, Steve…well, you know I used to work at a job where I had a nametag and it kind of annoyed me when people called me “Zach”…

Steve: You sure talk a lot…

ZT: Um…

Steve: Are you new here?

ZT: No, I’ve been here for awhile…can I get your order…

Steve: You know, the girls that used to work here did a pretty competent job…

ZT: Enjoy your diet coke mixed with fruit punch and a little spit, asshole...

Maybe this guy had been watching too many westerns or something, and left the place ready to beat off with his cavalier machismo at the expense of restaurant employee. Perhaps he was trying to recapture his youth of bullying others. Who the hell knows. But Steve’s not the only asshole. In fact there are quite a few of them in Sarasota, and the situation is only exacerbated by the large number of wealthy people who have a handy bank account to back up their feelings of superiority.

This is not to smear many of the fine people living in Sarasota. There’s quite a few legitimately nice people around. In fact, this is the case for most places. There’s also quite a few assholes making residence in the Upper Midwest. But the difference is that the Florida strand is chock full of arrogance, an arrogance that would get destroyed in one winter in Minnesota or Wisconsin. Let me relay a story of a day that I was destroyed by my own hubris.

In one of those bizarre turns, the weather God’s decreed that a day in January my sophomore year of school would be far more beautiful than any mild day in May. It was almost in the 70s, sunshiny, and since there wasn’t too much snow on the ground, not terribly wet. For my first class of the day, I didn’t realize the weather was like this so I wore a sweater and jeans with a windbreaker over the top. Even wore a hat, too. For the bus ride over to main campus, I sweat enough to water to be a billionaire in Arizona. I came back, changed into a t-shirt and enjoyed the outdoors. Tossed a disc around, did some homework out in the courtyard and got some lunch. When I was in my room and the time was nearing for me to go to my afternoon class, I made a fateful decision…to walk to main campus in shorts and sandals.

The walk there went fine enough, but upon going outdoors after a couple hours of class, the day was starting to turn ugly. I saw the clouds, felt the wind picking up, but decided to walk back anyway, eschewing the bus. Within ten minutes, the whole day had gone to hell. Snow was falling, wind was blustering, and I was walking in shorts and sandals.

You see, growing up in Wisconsin, I learned the weather isn’t to be trifled with. Sure, kids try to flaunt it, wearing shorts on 30 degree days, much to their parent’s dismay. But that habit is usually kicked by high school. On a daily basis, I learned that when you mess with the weather gods, you’re bound to get your ass kicked. This lesson only seems to hit Florida with the occasional hurricane, and once that’s over, a few months will pass without the lesson being reinforced, and hubris can run rampant again.

Wisco rox, baby…